


Ghosts of the Past

by Graceful_Storyteller



Series: Hunt the Haunted [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alcohol, Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Tony tries to avoid feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-14
Updated: 2012-12-14
Packaged: 2017-11-21 03:16:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graceful_Storyteller/pseuds/Graceful_Storyteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>The truth is that Tony has always suspected that his father’s interest in Captain America was more than platonic.</i>  </p>
<p>In which Tony wrestles with the truth about his father and Loki attempts to get to the heart of the matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts of the Past

The truth is that Tony has always suspected that his father’s interest in Captain America was more than platonic. When Tony was still a boy Howard would regularly disappear for months at a time to search for the fallen idol. He would return disappointed, angry, and would shut himself away in his study for a further week. Eventually, he would surface and seek Tony out so that he could regale him with tales of America’s greatest hero. For the first few years of his life Tony had been enchanted by these tales, had been overjoyed that his father was spending time with him and imparting to him such captivating stories. As he grew older Tony became more cynical; these story-telling sessions were for Howard’s benefit, not his. It was about making Howard feel better by having someone willing to listen to the same tales again and again; it was about legacy and ensuring that Captain America’s lived on. His father had no interest in spending time with Tony, only in guaranteeing that when he died the good captain would not die too.

 

Once, Tony had confronted Howard about this. He still remembers the slap he’d received – one of the few acts of violence Howard Stark had ever committed towards him. In a way it was better than the cold indifference he usually received; in another it was worse because it sharply illustrated that Tony’s suspicions were not empty. He never raised the subject again, but that didn’t stop the resentment from festering. Had he been conceived for the sole purpose of continuing Howard Stark and Captain America’s legacy? Or had it all been an accident? Had Howard married Tony’s mother because he’d gotten her pregnant and felt compelled to do the honourable thing? Had he loved her or was she just a distraction until he was reunited with his captain? As Tony grew older and discovered the ins and outs of love, lust, sex, and how men can be absolute assholes, he made new connections with old material and developed his theories. He never really understood why he agonised over such things after his parents died – it wasn’t like he could ever get the answers he desired. With his parents gone and Captain America lost to time Tony had been certain his theories could never be more than that – unverifiable speculation. That was when SHIELD discovered Steve Rogers and everything changed.

 

It had been difficult at first for Tony to adjust. All he saw when he looked at Steve was Captain America: old-fashioned, out-dated, a relic of the past. He saw his father telling stories about the man he had idolised, ensuring that Tony was word-perfect on every tale. He saw red and had acted with undisguised hostility towards him. Over time his vision had cleared and he’d begun to like Steve as a person. He’d been charmed by the big blue eyes and sincere desire to help people. Tony had weakened and found himself offering Steve the hand of friendship. The soldier had been overjoyed by his change of heart and the two of them had become close. By silent agreement they’d never mentioned Howard and only vaguely referenced the war – until their latest, most heart-breaking fight. Now the cat is out of the bag and all the work that has occurred on both sides to make their friendship work has been smashed more thoroughly than if the Hulk had done the deed himself.

 

Tony takes another swig of cheap scotch straight from the bottle. He’s locked himself in his room and given JARVIS strict orders that he is not to be disturbed. He knows he’s being childish, that he’s mad at Steve for something so far in the past that it shouldn’t be relevant anymore. It is, though, because it impacted his childhood and his life and it’s something that he’s never been able to get over. Knowing your father would rather be with someone else, feeling unloved and overlooked for someone who you thought was dead... Steve might not have meant to mess up Tony’s life like this, but he had and Tony was petty enough to hate him for it, and to hate himself for doing so, and to drown his sorrows in booze to try and forget that he was so petty and spiteful.

 

“That’s enough of that,” says a cool, slightly disapproving voice just to Tony’s right. Pale piano-players’ fingers pluck the bottle from Tony’s hand, and the inventor turns to meet familiar green eyes.

 

“Loki,” Tony murmurs.     

 

The god of lies and chaos places the bottle out of Tony’s reach and takes a seat beside him. He does not say anything at first, does not even look at Tony. He stares straight ahead at the wall opposite the one the two of them are slumped against, his expression one of calm indifference.

 

Eventually, Tony breaks the silence. “I told JARVIS not to let anyone in.”

 

“Your servant is not advanced enough to prevent me from doing as I desire.”

 

“Nobody’s advanced enough to do that,” Tony snorts.

 

“Then it seems your question was rather redundant, yes?”

 

Tony sighs, a smile tugging at his lips. He leans against Loki’s side, allowing his head to rest on the god’s shoulder. Loki permits the contact with barely a batted eyelash. Tony closes his eyes and buries his face in Loki’s neck, inhaling the scent of leather, sweat, and lemons – which is apparently what Loki’s particular brand of magic smells like. The Arc Reactor tastes of coconut, and Loki (after performing teleportation spells and the like) smells and tastes distinctly of citrus fruits. Tony discovered this early on in their relationship, and has steered clear of lemons and lemon-scented products ever since in order to avoid becoming accidentally aroused by fruit.

 

“Are you always this affectionate when intoxicated or is this a result of your disagreement with the soldier?”

 

Tony ceases nuzzling Loki’s neck and attempts to retrieve the hand he has entwined with the god’s. Loki tightens his grip, and his gaze when Tony meets his eyes is firm. Tony bares his teeth in a snarl. “Fuck you.”

 

The billionaire attempts to wrench his fingers from Loki’s hold, but the god does not give him an inch. “Why did you argue?”

 

“It’s none of your business.”

 

A crooked smile makes its way across Loki’s lips. “Yes, I have been told that. Multiple times, in fact, by a number of your teammates – which makes me suspect that I am what started your quarrel.”

 

Tony frowns, because Loki is not wrong. His pardon from the World Security Council and initiation into the Avengers had initially rubbed many of them the wrong way, including Tony. They had thought it all a trick, another ploy to take over the earth. When Thor had explained that his brother had been coerced into the attack on Manhattan by a mighty force that was currently heading towards them – that was the moment when Tony’s opinion had changed. During the battle for New York he had seen what lived on the other side of the portal, and that alone had provided him with enough evidence to start believing that Loki might be telling the truth. The others had still been sceptical, but they had been trained to follow orders and Loki’s inclusion in the team was a direct order from Fury. They hadn’t liked the order and it had shown in how they had treated Loki, i.e. as a criminal. Tony had been less judgemental (had even been silently sympathetic) and had struck up a friendship with the trickster that had eventually led to a secret, sexual relationship.

 

It hadn’t taken long for the others to notice that the two of them had become close, and during one of their clandestine human-only team meetings they had raised their displeasure at the development. They’d let Steve do the talking, knowing he was the only one who could really take the moral high ground – and take the high ground he had. In the process he had seriously pissed off Tony, who had consequently become defensive and mouthy, further frustrating Steve and prompting him to become even more pious. Eventually one of them (Tony can’t remember who) had brought up Howard, at which point the conversation had escalated quickly before coming to an abrupt end. Tony had stormed off and broken open the liquor cabinet, fully intent on drinking himself into unconsciousness. Part of him still feels like this is a good plan – it is definitely no worse than discussing with Loki all the reasons why he is angry, drunk, and hurting inside.

 

Doing what he normally does when he wishes to avoid discussing his feelings, Tony forces a hungry, intoxicated kiss on Loki. Instead of responding the god pushes Tony back, his lips twisted in distaste. “As delightful as it undoubtedly would be to ravish you here and now, I have no intention of doing so until you tell me why you have allowed the soldier to reduce you to this.” Tony tries again to distract Loki with sex, and once again fails to do so. “I’m warning you Anthony,” Loki says calmly, quietly, the threat clear in his tone, “do not push me. Answer my question or I will be forced to resort to less gentle methods of interrogation.”

 

“You know I like it rough,” Tony mumbles as he brings Loki’s fingers into his mouth. The god of chaos shivers, lust creeping its way into his gaze as Tony capitalises on the moment of distraction to once again move closer.

 

Realising what he is doing, Loki lunges forward with a snarl and slams Tony onto his back. Now straddling Tony’s hips, the god leans forward and grasps the engineer by the throat, squeezing just enough to shock Tony’s alcohol-addled brain back into a more communicative frame of mind.

 

“Jesus, _fuck_! Let go you psycho!”

 

His lips still curled in a snarl, Loki repeats, “Not until you tell me why you have fallen into drink in a way you have not done since you ended your relationship with Miss Potts.”

 

The mention of Pepper causes Tony to stop struggling and a large portion of his fury to drain away. That was another relationship he’d ruined because he couldn’t do feelings. He’d only wanted to protect her and he’d ended up smothering her until she could no longer cope. She’d been forced to leave him – and the country – in order to salvage their working relationship. Now that they’d had some time apart to breathe she was willing to return from the European branch of Stark Industries, but their interaction via video-chat was still occasionally awkward and full of all the problems they should have discussed and never did.

 

Even though Tony really isn’t in the mood to discuss the day’s events, he knows Loki isn’t going to give up until Tony tells him what’s wrong. Loki would never admit it but Tony knows he’s concerned about him, and is more than willing to bully the engineer into spilling his troubles. Tony appreciates the sentiment, sort of, and knows that he really should just tell Loki what happened. He cares about the god and doesn’t want this relationship to go the same way as his last one, but he also enjoys being stubborn and getting his own way. That’s why he makes one last attempt to dodge having this conversation.

 

“The others are probably going to call another secret team meeting tomorrow so that Cap and I can kiss and make up – can’t you just spy on us and solve the mystery that way?”

 

“No,” Loki replies, his fingers still resting menacingly around Tony’s throat. “I wish to hear the problem from your lips.”

 

“That can also happen tomorr-”

 

“Anthony,” Loki warns, adding the slightest hint of pressure.

 

Tony closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again. Nobody can say he didn’t try.

 

“You want to know why I’m trying to drown my sorrows? You want to know why I locked myself in here and did everything I could to discourage visitors? Well the reason, Sweet Cheeks, is that I just found out that Captain Spangles and my dad were bum-fucking all through the war.” 

 

Loki is quiet for a long moment after his revelation. “How would you like me to murder the soldier?”

 

Tony laughs, but stops when he realises Loki is deadly serious. “You can’t kill him.”

 

Loki turns away with a look that translates to ‘we’ll see about that’.

 

Tony tightens his grip on the wrists he’d grabbed hold of when he was first thrown to the floor, as if that is enough to stop Loki from teleporting out of the room and eviscerating Steve. “What’s with the sudden hostility? You weren’t this mad at him a minute ago.”

 

“A minute ago I did not know the soldier’s secret.” Loki pauses, most likely mulling over how to best phrase his explanation. “I am not ignorant of your father and his reputation. To the casual observer the two of you share similar character traits and mannerisms; some have even gone so far as to describe you as Howard Stark reincarnated. I am curious as to whether the soldier agrees with this estimation of the resemblance between the two of you.”

 

In his drunken state it takes Tony a second longer than normal to decipher Loki’s words. “Steve’s never hit on me; never given any indication that he wants to have me on the nearest horizontal surface.”

 

“That does not mean he doesn’t have feelings for you,” Loki snaps. He looks away quickly, hastily replacing the mask he inadvertently let slip.

 

Tony is unable to stop himself from smiling. Loki is somewhat adorable when he’s jealous.

 

Reaching up, Tony threads his fingers through the strands of hair at the base of Loki’s skull and gently pulls the trickster down to his level. “Hey,” he murmurs, “you know I’m not interested in him right? You know that you’re the only one I want in my bed? Or in my shower, or on the workshop bench, or on the kitchen counter when everyone else is out?”

 

Loki considers him silently. In time something shifts in his demeanour, and Tony finds his lips caught in a bruising kiss. The engineer closes his eyes and returns the kiss with gusto, his fingers clenching around the nape of Loki’s neck as his free hand finds purchase in the god’s leathers. This, he decides, is much better than talking about feelings or murdering Steve – especially when Loki adjusts his weight and creates delicious friction in the region of Tony’s pelvis.

 

Eventually Loki disconnects their lips and rests his forehead against Tony’s, pinning the billionaire with eyes that are fogged with lust. “I think I will have you now,” Loki growls, low and possessive.

 

“Fucking finally,” Tony mumbles as he drags Loki back in for another kiss.      


End file.
